Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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