i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
