No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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