My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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