Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
