Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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