You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
