): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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