I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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