Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
