I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
