Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
