I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if only i could text you this smell
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
