You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
