is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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