Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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