what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I believe in your delicious
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
