So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
