Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
