Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
