Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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