Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
