OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
