Sponge bath it is.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
