You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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