Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
