Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
