it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
