Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
