Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is the high leading the old right now
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
