So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
