wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
