Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
