I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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