And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
