We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
