Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
