Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
