I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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