are you so shy because you have an std?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
