She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
