Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
id be glad to
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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