Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
