maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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