just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
