i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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