i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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