I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
