We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
