two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
