hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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