So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
