dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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