he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
