So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
