just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
